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Inspiration and Advice for the Practical Bride

These People Are Not Your Planner

10/23/2018

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So you just got engaged - congrats! Now comes the fun part of planning your wedding and yes, it is supposed to be fun and not something that causes sleep loss and tears. Hiring a planner is many times what couples say is the best decision they made throughout the entire planning process but do you want to hear a secret? Most people including other wedding vendors don’t even really understand what we do! I mean yes, we are of course managing timelines and setting out place cards but the real work is beyond what we can even write into a contract. It’s easy for you to understand what your caterer will provide or your florist but your planner; not so easy to detail. Even just our month-out services typically require us to be a therapist, mediator, scheduler, interior designer and emergency point person all at the same time which trust me is even more exhausting than it sounds.

So while it may be tempting to try and save some money and enlist the help of the below people to act as your planner, we suggest you try to save your sanity instead and hire an experienced planner to help you through your day.  You’ve invested a lot of time and money into your day and so let’s make it run smoothly, shall we?


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Venue Event Manager
So you book your dream venue and bonus, they have an onsite wedding coordinator! This is fantastic because that person is going to be an invaluable resource to all things regarding the space and any other services that they provide which could include catering and your bar package. Trust me, we are just as thrilled as you are when a venue has experienced staff steering the ship however it’s so important to remember that these people are just not the same as having a wedding planner. The first thing to consider is that particularly during our busy wedding season venues typically have weddings on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and sometimes they even have multiple spaces in one building meaning that they are managing multiple weddings on the same day. No worries, they are pros and can handle that! But, this also means that they probably have a lot on their minds and really can’t handle taking on another role as well. Hiring a wedding planner means that you have one person or even team dedicated to you and your vendors and who stays with you the entire day.  Also many times a planner who attends your rehearsal as well will only take on one wedding per weekend meaning your event is fresh in their minds and your details won’t be confused with the wedding that happened the day before or in the next room. Finally, keep in mind that your venue coordinator is really only going to be worried about the details onsite instead of the entire day as a whole which means they probably won’t be confirming your shuttle, chatting with your stylist or running through your ceremony outline for the third time with your nervous, newbie officiant.

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Photo: Anna Page Photography

Other Wedding Vendor

On your big day you’ve got lots of people who know the details of your day from the caterer, to the florist to the photographer. We know you’ve done your research and hired the very best team and they are going to nail the details that pertain to their services.  But it’s important to remember that these people are not your wedding coordinator. Sure it may be easy to think that since they will be at the venue anyways and know the details that one of these vendors could easily manage your personal items but really, don’t you want them focused on what you have actually hired them for? Your florist is going to be staying up late and waking up early taking care of your delicate blooms and once they get them to the venue, they then have a minimal amount of time to arrange and make sure everything is perfect. Trust me, you don’t want to add on additional services to what is typically an already very chaotic time. Caterers need to focus on food, DJs on music, florists on flowers and photographers on photos - that’s it. I’m sure that they could do parts of our job but honestly they probably don’t want to and I’m sure they really don’t want to be dealing with the gazillion questions we get from vendors on the wedding day because again, we are on the only ones with the full picture. Also remember that these vendors most likely have multiple events on your wedding day or weekend to manage and while by the time they get to your venue they are going to be focused on you, it’s a full plate of information swirling in their heads. The bottom line is that you are going to get the very best from each of your vendors if you let them focus on their own jobs and not ours.

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Photo: Anna Page Photography

Your Sister, Cousin or Bridesmaid Who Just Got Married

When we meet with clients for the first time we hear a lot about family and friends who are also in the midst of planning a wedding or just tied the knot recently. It’s always great to have a little experience on your team but I want to emphasize the word “little”. Planning your own wedding or being a maid of honor and helping out your friend by going with to a couple vendor meetings by no means makes that person a wedding coordinator. My guess is that you’ve spent thousands of dollars of this one day and so the importance of entrusting the details to someone who has planned dozens and I’ll even say hundreds of weddings is invaluable. (Yes, we have planned HUNDREDS of weddings. I’m exhausted evening thinking about it.) Every wedding is different, every couple is different and we have a different set of challenges every weekend which means that after dealing with a few hundred wedding emergencies big and small, we have a pretty good handle on troubleshooting.

PicturePhoto: Danielle Simone Charles

Your Mom
You love your mom, right? The best thing that you can do on your wedding day is let her enjoy herself! I’m sure that she would much rather be with you as you put on your gown instead of managing an early load-in. And at the end of the night, the last thing that she is going to want to do is to scurry around the venue as the lights come on gathering up photos and personal items. If you think about it, she may have just as many friends and family at the wedding as you do and so while it isn’t technically her day, it’s nice to still let her enjoy your day.

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Photo: Eric Floberg

​So in the end, while we would love to work with all of our couples from the onset, we totally understand that option may not be the best choice for everyone. However there is very serious value in investing in an experienced wedding coordinator to help tie up those loose ends and be there on the day of the wedding day representing you. There are so many things your planner will do for you that your other vendors, family and even you may not even know about. But that is the point, right? Your vendors need to focus on their expertise and you need to focus on getting married and rocking the dance floor.


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    With almost a decade of experience in the wedding industry, we've been around long enough where we feel like we have a few things to share. Hopefully, some of this is helpful! Or at least we can help you take a five minute break from staring at Pinterest. 

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| megan@daretodreamweddingswi.com
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